“It’s a known issue.”I first heard that phrase five years ago at a computer repair shop on Grand Rapids’ west side. The person saying it was one of the store’s techs, describing a problem I was having with my new computer, purchased less than a month earlier.
The previous day I had been writing merrily along; the sun was shining, birds were singing, words were flowing. Then – pfffftttt! (That’s the actual sound the computer made) – no picture; just a blank, gray screen.
After an unfruitful hour on the phone with Apple’s tech support department, I was told to take the computer to a local repair shop. I did.
“What do you mean, ‘It’s a known issue?’” I asked.
“It’s a known issue,” the tech guy repeated.
“Known by whom?”
The tech guy gave me that withering, superior look, the one computer geeks seem capable of churning out by the sack full. “Known by Apple, I guess,” he said.
“Then why didn’t they fix it before they sold me the computer?” I said.
The tech guy shrugged and stacked my computer alongside two dozen identical units waiting to receive the exact same repair procedure.
“Next Thursday,” he said, handing me a ticket.
My next encounter with a “known issue” was software related. A music production program I had just installed kept freezing up at the same point for no apparent reason. Each time this happened, I lost about an hour’s work.
After dropping nearly $300 on this program, I figured it should be bug free and – with a list of my favorite profanity in front of me – I phoned the company’s tech department to tell them so.
After listening to 90 minutes of “The Girl from Ipanema” interspersed with recorded announcements telling me how important my call was, I was told, “It’s a known issue.”
“What do I do to fix it?” I said.
“We’re working on an update,” the tech guy said.
“Meanwhile?” I asked
“Um, the update should be out early next year,” the tech guy said. “That should take care of the problem.”
“Meanwhile?” I asked again.
The tech guy suggested I save my work every couple minutes so that when – not if, but when – the program froze up, at least I wouldn’t have to start over from scratch.
Apparently, if an issue is “known,” then everybody’s supposed to be cool with it. If I buy a car and one of the “known issues” is that the tires fall off at speeds over 35 mph, then – according to tech guy logic – I should just shut up and drive under 34 until they come out with next year’s model.
My most recent known issue encounter arose shortly after I purchased a Blackberry and signed up for the requisite two-year contract. At first, everything was groovy. The phone worked perfectly.
Then suddenly and for no apparent reason, the unit would no longer allow me to text photos. Since I rarely spot Bigfoot, Elvis or white cops beating Rodney King, I wasn’t overly concerned with this limitation. It took weeks before I got around to dropping by the phone store to speak with them about it.
“It’s a known issue with that model,” the tech girl said.
“If you knew it didn’t work, why didn’t you mention it to me a month ago when I was buying the phone?” I asked. “I wouldn’t have purchased it.”
The tech girl looked at me like I had just answered my own question, which, I suppose, I had.
My phone bill’s due in two days, but I think I’ll wait a week to pay it. Maybe two. When they call to ask why it’s late, I have an answer.
It’s a known issue.
Missed a week? More “Reality Check” online at http://mtrealitycheck.blogspot.com or www.milive.com. E-mail Mike Taylor at mtaylor325@gmail.com.
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