I’m looking for new WFA members, but there is a wait list

I’m joining the WFA. In fact, I intend to elect myself club president. Those wishing to join may email me at the address listed at the end of this column; I’ll send you a membership card.

What’s the WFA? It’s a support group for husbands, boyfriends, significant others…any who—in the words of John Milton—“stand and wait.” Those who sit and wait may also apply.

Wait for what? Wives, girlfriends, significant female others.

WFA stands for Waiting for Anne. Your own acronym’s third letter may vary, depending on the name of the woman you typically find yourself waiting for. In my case it’s Anne, hence WFA.

Waiting for Anne has become a regular occurrence in my life, one experienced on a daily basis. It’s happening as I write this, in fact.

This time, I’m waiting for Anne to get ready for a stroll through a small, Northern Michigan town. We’re on vacation, staying in a charming, though tiny cabin near Cadillac.

Nobody knows us here; we could go outside wearing chicken suits and pinwheel beanies and our reputations would suffer not at all. We’d be just two more crazy flatlanders eating fudge and purchasing woolen mittens made in Peru.

But noooooo. My Sweet Annie feels she must look her best before we exit the cabin. Why? I’m not sure. She’s one of those rare women that wake up looking even more beautiful than when she lay down to sleep. The hours of “prep time” improve on that, but not so much so that they’re a necessity.

In short—she looks fine without the beautification efforts.

She sees things otherwise. And so I wait.

Back home, I have a big leather recliner to sit in as I while away the endless hours waiting for Annie to come out of the bedroom. I have a copy of the current week’s New Yorker magazine. I have the newspaper. I have cold beer.

Here at the cabin I have a National Geographic from 1972 and the rule book that came with our game of Scrabble. So I have time to develop my WFA idea.

I’m picturing the WFA as a cross between a Moose Lodge and Alcoholics Anonymous. We could hold monthly meetings where members would sit in a circle and relate their personal experiences waiting for women. The rest of the time we’d play golf, drink beer and watch football on the TV over the bar.

Maybe club members could wear funny hats, like the Shriners. Every so often we could host a fundraising dinner for whatever cause seemed especially worthy at the time.

It would give us something to do while…waiting. And waiting. And waiting…

More “Reality Check” online at http://mtrealitycheck.blogspot.com or www.milive.com. E-mail Mike Taylor at mtaylor325@gmail.com. (WFA Club memberships available.)