What a long, strange trip it was, thanks in part to Google

Late yesterday I rode into the tiny, Northern Michigan hamlet of Stony Lake, bringing to a close GeezerThon 2010, the cross-state bicycle ride I began exactly a week ago near Port Huron. Stony Lake is one of the loveliest communities on earth and the residents around these parts wouldn’t be happy if they knew I was sharing this news with the world. They prefer things as they are and are understandably under-whelmed by the notion of additional “summer people.”

At any rate, those who know me are no doubt amazed I managed to find my way from the state’s east coast to the west. I have been known to get lost going from the living room to the kitchen.

I am—to put it kindly—directionally challenged.

So how did I manage to traverse the long, rural miles between there and here without becoming hopelessly disoriented? In a word: Google. More specifically, Google Maps.

Google Maps is one of the wonders of the modern world, far as I’m concerned. BlackBerry in hand, all I had to do each morning was punch in my destination for the day, let Google Maps’ GPS thingy figure out where I was at the moment, and voila, my route appeared on-screen, planned out in full and taking into account the fact I was traveling via bicycle.

All I had to do was turn when my phone told me to turn and I would wind up where I needed to be before sunset.

That’s the theory, at least. Problem is, Google Maps for bicycles is in “beta” release at the moment. That’s Google’s way of saying, “It’ll probably get you there, but you may encounter a few surprises along the way.”

I did.

First off, I discovered that when you tell GM you’re on a bike it tries to route you to bicycle trails as often as possible. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Paved trails make for a pleasant ride, but some of the trails I encountered are meant for BMX or dirt bikes, the sort with big, knobby tires ridden by guys in their 20s who love to burst over rugged, hilly terrain while shouting “Yee-haw!” at the top of their lungs.

These trails are not meant for geezers riding skinny-tired road bikes loaded with 150-pounds of gear. Portions of my trip wound up being more mountain-climb than bicycle ride.

Worse still, GM for bikes doesn’t rate the, um, quality of the neighborhoods through which it routes you. It would be wrong to mention the town I’m thinking of by name, but there are portions of Muskegon through which an old guy of European descent should not be riding an expensive bicycle loaded with personal belongings.

While waiting there for a red light, a couple young gentlemen asked if I would be willing to share with them the contents of my wallet. There was only seven bucks cash in there, but I declined anyway. They decided it wasn’t worth their trouble to shoot me and the incident ended without further excitement.

I pedaled (quickly) away as they shared a few last minute thoughts regarding my mother.

Despite these problems I still consider Google Maps a wonder of modern technology. Next trip, though, I may follow its suggestions somewhat less faithfully.

More “Reality Check” online at http://mtrealitycheck.blogspot.com or www.milive.com. E-mail Mike Taylor at mtaylor325@gmail.com.