Now THIS is how all my reader mail should be!

I get a lot of reader mail; seems like a lot to me, anyway, since I'm more or less a nobody, or at least nobody special (it's only false modesty if it ain't true, folks).  I love hearing from readers who see my column either here or in the various newspapers in which it appears.  I even like hearing from readers who think I'm an idiot and they are, perhaps not surprisingly, legion.

But I received this letter last week, on a day I was questioning my life choices -- those myriad blunders that have lead me to my current, lowly situation -- and wondering if I should just chuck it all and get a good job, Walmart greeter, maybe, or French fry engineer at McDonald's.

This letter, should you be wondering, is exactly the right way to communicate with -- not just me -- but any local author struggling to make a buck in an industry that is slowly suffocating beneath the weight of the ponderous monstrosity that is the Internet.  Writing in general and print journalism in particular, while not yet dead , are slowly fading to black.  A letter like the one that follows is a ray of sunshine into any writer's drab existence and certainly better than the messages that read simply, "You stink!" or "You're a no-talent hack!" or "The white powder on this envelope is anthrax and I will no longer have to see your crummy column hogging space on the op-ed page, space that could otherwise have been filled by George Will's brilliant prose!"

I've changed the name of the author here, in order to protect her identity.  So without further preamble, I'll turn the floor over to "Flo."

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Mike,

I do it every Thursday...and I do it on the floor...it's the only place that's safe.  

I was talking about reading your column...what were you thinking?  (Oh, perish the thought of what the nuns at St. Isadore would say!)

Seriously, I have wanted to write and thank you for a very long time for writing your column and giving me at least one laugh each week.  You see, I am now an empty-nester (really empty...divorced, too).  Both of my boys are in college, and that's a good thing.  However, my youngest, ****, made me laugh every day of my life.  I miss that tremendously!  So, when I discovered your column in the Daily News on Thursdays, it started to fill the humor hole that I had had for 18 plus years of my life.  Now, if you could only write it every day that would be even better.  But these days, I will take what I can get in the humor category.

And since I talk about you incessantly to anyone who will listen, I also declare that I am your biggest fan.  Not the guy who tacks your column to the refrigerator.  My favorite columns of yours are not out for public display or to have the edges wrinkle, the page turn yellow, or get battered-up by the mixer.  Nope.  My favorite columns of yours are safely tucked away in a Rubbermaid tub, and you know how safe things are in those.  And, since you asked, the reason I have to read your column on the floor has become a safety issue.  While reading about ramen noodles, I literally laughed so hard that I fell off the kitchen chair!  That may have also been funny, however, there were no witnesses.  So after that episode, I moved into the living room to the couch.  Sounded like a pretty safe place to read.  Oh, but then you had to write about cats and extension ladders, and again I fell off the furniture.  So now I have moved to the floor.  And there is no eating allowed while reading either due to a potential choking hazard.  (And, no, I am not looking to sue you for damages...thankfully there were none.  Sigh of relief?  I heard that!) 

My boys know what a big fan I am of yours, so this Christmas I was presented with a gift certificate to Robbins Book Store so that I could purchase your book.  I did.  I went on and on about you to the owner, who says he's your friend, and he claims that all this is going to go to your head.  Just so you know, I have been warned.  I enjoyed the book immensely, and read it all while sitting on the floor.  Safety first, Mr. Taylor!  

I would be thrilled to meet you and have you sign my book.  I do think that I was in line behind you at the credit union one day last summer.  It was one of those moments where you open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.  I wanted to tell you so badly how much I love your column and the way you write (it's the way I think btw).  But I was momentarily star struck and couldn't speak.

I am not certain whether you are at the Daily News every day, but I would love to stop on a day that you are there to have my book signed.  That in and of itself may take a day or two, because I currently work 3 part time jobs and that should answer your question about whether or not I may be a stalker.  Sadly, I have no time for that.  I just appreciate your humor and your writing, and I wanted to finally let you know.

Thank you,

Flo 

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See what I mean?  My own mother never said so many nice things about me!  So thank you, "Flo," for your wonderful letter.  It may be the nicest letter I've ever received in my life. I'm going out right now to buy a Rubbermaid tub to keep it in! And by the way, Kevin was right; your letter did, indeed, go to my head, which was two or three sizes too big to begin with. - Mike