Every so often I start thinking the world has gone nuts. Yeah, yeah, psychiatrists don’t like that word, nuts. But the only psychiatrist I ever saw professionally — nearly 30 years ago — displayed a jar of cashews on his coffee table, so what does that tell you?
Your shrink may diagnose your condition as “paranoid schizophrenia,” but you can bet that, as you tearfully pour out your life story, he’s thinking acorns and demented squirrels. For this, he gets a hundred clams an hour.
But this column isn’t about psychiatry or its overpaid practitioners. It’s about the nuts.
It’s about one nut in particular, Maneesh Sethi, who recently invented and is now trying to market the Pavlok Wristband. It’s a “fitness device,” according to the pre-release publicity.
I assume the name is a twist on the moniker of famed behavioral physiologist Ivan Pavlov, who figured out he could make dogs salivate by ringing a bell. I used to be able to do the same thing with my dog, Kipper, simply by unwrapping a Snickers Bar, but for some reason Pavlov got famous and I did not.
But I digress. Frequently.
The Pavlok Wristband works like this: if the wearer completes his regularly scheduled physical workout — jumping jacks, pushups, whatever — the wristband does nothing. It just sits there on the wrist. If, however, the wearer slacks off and engages in what I believe to be a far more rational activity, such as going to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet followed by a long nap, the wristband delivers an electrical shock. Not a lethal shock, but one strong enough to be very, very uncomfortable.
The idea is that, like Pavlov’s salivating pooches, the negative reinforcement (which is psycho-speak for “things that really tick you off”) will encourage you to stick to your workout schedule, lose weight and get all the pretty girls when you go to the beach next summer.
Are you picturing acorns and demented squirrels yet?
How about if I tell you the prototype, available now, sells for $249.99? The production model, slated to hit the shelves early next year, will run about $149.99; cheaper, but still pricey for a device whose primary function is to inflict pain on its wearer.
I have no idea what percentage of the population suffers from masochism (the psychiatric term for folks who like to hurt themselves -- the sort who enjoy marathon episodes of “Dancing with the Stars” for instance) but I’m guessing most of these will be early adopters.
Though I sometimes harbor lingering doubts as to my own sanity, I doubt I’ll be buying one. I may be nuts, but I’m the kind of nuts that’s the opposite of a masochist. I not only DON’T like to hurt myself, I tend to become really irate if other people try to do so.
I just know I would not enjoy a piece of jewelry that sends 50 volts up my arm every time I fail to run laps at the gym.
If Mr. Sethi wants to sell me a Pavlovian bracelet, it’s going to have to deliver results through positive reinforcement, not negative. I’m thinking here of a wristband that reproduces the sensation of, say, spending a night on the town with actress Heather Graham or drinking a couple margaritas at a nice Mexican restaurant — something like that.
But don’t expect me to drop two large on a bracelet that hurts. That’s just — say it with me — nuts.
mtaylor@staffordgroup.com
(616) 548-8273
No comments:
Post a Comment