My life keeps serving up dishes I’m not sure I want to eat.
Despite my gregarious personality, I am at heart an introvert. I know, I know … those who know me personally are rolling their eyes right now.
I have a big mouth and I know how to use it. But honestly, I’m a lot more comfortable sitting in a dark corner somewhere, a wallflower watching the party from a safe distance.
I’m happiest in a small fishing boat on a quiet lake, an ultra-lite rod in one hand and a cold Bud in the other.
I know the trend in this country is to seek out fame (or at least notoriety) at all costs. We’re constantly bombarded with the message that you’re nobody unless you’re famous. The timid among us get their fame fix by posting endless selfies on Facebook. The more desperate climb water towers and take potshots at student nurses.
It all comes down to the same thing: being the little kid on the playground jungle gym yelling, “Hey! Look at me!”
At any rate, the itch to be well known is a condition I’ve never really developed. But I am, at least a little bit.
I’ve been writing this column for decades. It appears in a lot of different newspapers and online outlets. So every once in a while, someone will walk up to me at the grocery and say, “Hey, aren’t you that guy that writes that column?”
Now, I like people and it’s nice to know someone’s reading my work. But while I like people, I like them best in small numbers; preferably in groups of one.
Crowds freak me out. Even “virtual” crowds. Writing this column for a relatively large audience is easy, mostly because I pretend I’m not. I pretend I’m writing for my girlfriend, my kids or sometimes, for myself. I try not to think about all the eyes that’ll be looking once it comes out in print.
Fooling myself like this is going to be harder with my radio show. Yup, radio show. Beginning Nov. 10, I’m going to be on the radio. It wasn’t my idea, but when Jim at WGLM 106.3 made the offer, it sounded too fun to turn down.
It’s not live, thank Heaven. But it’s still me; my dorky-sounding voice (and it does sound dorky, make no mistake). My inane comments and observations. My big mouth yammering away.
Every time I record an episode, I feel like a fool and a fraud. I’m hoping this doesn’t come out in the broadcasts (which will air weekdays at 5:30 p.m., by the way) but I’m afraid it might.
Ah, if I bomb, I bomb. It won’t be the end of the world and I will have at least tried. But I’d really rather be in that dark corner or out on a fishing boat.
Instead, here I am again, stepping up to the jungle gym and yelling, “Hey! Look at me!”
mtaylor@staffordgroup.com
(616) 548-8273
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