I don’t know how it started; probably with a Grateful Dead concert T-shirt back in 1968. Or maybe in the ‘80s, at some mall chain store touting overpriced rags for valley girl wannabes. I really wasn’t paying attention, so I couldn’t tell you.
All I know is, one day clothing was something used to cover the your body or keep you warm, the next it was a medium for advertising the manufacturer’s product.
I got thinking about it this past weekend while visiting family in Detroit. I love my family, but sometimes there are too many of them and I need to get off by myself for a while. On Saturday, I chose one of the city’s big, honkin’ malls.
Detroit hasn’t yet received the memo about malls being a thing of the past and this one was crowded with shoppers, browsers and mothers with little kids kept under tenuous control with promises of an eventual visit to the Cinnabon kiosk.
I hate shopping and haven’t been to a mall in years. I was surprised to see how little has changed. There were fewer overly-made up girls packed into Spandex and sporting really big hair, but otherwise, the place looked about the same as it had the last time I was there in 1985.
The mall boasted more stores than I’m interested in visiting in a day (or a lifetime!) but I saw a lot of them while trying to find a Spencer’s Gifts in order to laugh at all the ridiculous junk they sell there — always a good time.
And one thing I noticed that’s changed since the ‘80s is the proliferation of stores selling clothing bearing the shop’s name. I’m not talking about the discreet, little Izod alligator or Nike “swoosh.” I’m talking about the store’s name plastered like Goodyear on a blimp over every available inch of made-in-Pakistan fabric.
There’s CBGB (which reminds me of “heebie-jeebies” for some reason), there’s a store called “Pink.” At least I think that’s the name of the store; everything in it is covered with the word. There were half-a-dozen others.
Most of them seem to cater to 13-year-old girls and older woman who really, really need to face some hard facts about time and gravity.
When did this happen? This trend toward using customers as walking billboards?
I’ll admit I’m not only clueless with regard to fashion, I’m opposed to clothing in general.
Were it not for winter and laws prohibiting me from doing so, I’d run around naked as a hairless lab rat 365 days a year. This despite the fact that my doing so would no doubt lead to hysterical blindness in anyone unfortunate enough to glance in my direction while I was bending over to pick up a penny.
At any rate, I’m glad there are still places you can find a T-shirt and jeans with nobody’s message on them.
I’m a relatively large guy. If Versace wants to use my backside to advertise their clothing line, they can rent the space.
If I charge by the yard, I should be able to retire by the end of the year.
mtaylor@staffordgroup.com
(616) 548-8273
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