My daughter recently suggested I
start promoting my book again. Seeing as how this suggestion came shortly on
the heels of an email from an area library requesting I do an author “meet
& greet,” her comments seemed like kismet.
Well, Fate can try to shove me
around all it wants, but I’m not gonna do it.
For one thing, the book was published
over four years ago; for another, I have only about 20 copies of the paperback
left. Not enough to bother hawking them to an unsuspecting library ladies’
reading group.
I did some book signings back when
the thing was first published, but my heart was never really in it. I get
nervous speaking in front of crowds. Not that there were often groups large
enough to be called “crowds” at my signings. Stephen King may generate crowds;
I generate gatherings that could ride comfortably en masse in the backseat of a Yugo.
But even small, Yugo-sized groups
give me the heebie-jeebies if I’m expected to speak to them. It’s a psychological
block of some sort and I’m too old to bother sorting it all out now.
These days, when a reader expresses
an interest in obtaining a copy of the paperback, I just send them a free one. At
one time, I had some sort of system set up on PayPal where folks could purchase
the book, but over time, I’ve forgotten how it works. Ditto the listing on
Amazon.
I’ve actually sold quite a few copies
of the eBook version on Amazon and the money’s just waiting for me there. But I
don’t know how to get at it. It involves passwords I’ve long since forgotten,
along with whatever user name I used to set up the account.
I think you can still buy the eBook
there (wait a minute, lemme check) … yup, it’s still available there, at Apple
iTunes and a few other online eBook retailers. I’m not trying to promo the book
here, really. Because even if you do buy a copy, I’ll never see that money.
I could probably contact these
retailers and try to get a live human being to set me up with new passwords and
all that malarky, but frankly, I’d rather spend that time mowing my yard,
grilling a steak or drinking a cold domestic beer. So I never seem to get
around to it.
If you’re beginning to think I’m a
lousy business person, well, duh. What tipped you off?
The Lovely Mrs. Taylor gets on me
once in a while about trying to up the marketing efforts a little bit, but I
think she knows she’s fighting a losing battle. I just can’t seem to get
excited about self-promotion. I know some folks love that stuff, but for me?
Yawn City.
That doesn’t mean, however, that I
can’t still make a few bucks with the
book. My oldest son, Jordan, has gone through several copies over the years. So
far, I’ve given him the books for free. But if I start charging him, I could
sit back and let the cash roll in.
I don’t know if he’s ever actually
read the book, but he always takes a copy with him when he knows he’s going to
be hanging out at the beach or a pool. He sits there in a chaise lounge
pretending to read and when a girl asks him what he’s reading, he replies, “Oh,
my dad’s book. He’s a writer.”
He counts heavily on the girl in
question not knowing that I am, in reality, a nobody. The girl then says, “Oh,
your dad’s a writer? What’s he written?”
And so the conversation begins, Jordan
works his dubious charms – no doubt lying liberally about my fame and
popularity – and in no time, he has a date for the evening. I can’t believe it
works, but apparently, it does. According to the kid.
He usually winds up giving the girl
my book, at which point he needs another copy. If I only had more amorous sons,
I could rake in some serious scratch here. All without having to do any
promotional stuff or remember any passwords.
OK, it’s not much of a marketing
plan. But it’s a start.
(616) 745-9530
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