Tuesday, October 3, 2017

I don’t know how I’ll die, but drowning seems most likely



My biological father, who I never met, was a man of the sea, a Greek merchant marine. This according to the sketchy account I was able to drag from my mother years after it should have occurred to me to do so. I was in my mid-30s before I finally heard my “origin story.”
I wasn’t particularly shocked by the revelation. My family has always owned more than its share of peculiar, dark secrets, things nobody talks about, but everyone seems to know. I stopped being surprised by these whispered epiphanies while still in my teens.
Don’t get me wrong; we’re not the Mansons, or even the Addamses. If there are murders or witch burnings in my family’s past, I don’t know about them.
However, there are secrets. Or maybe it would be more accurate to call them mysteries, the flotsam of familial life trapped and then lost beneath time’s immutable amber.
Divorces and second, third, even fourth marriages, back in the days when such things just didn’t happen outside of Hollywood. A husband going out for a pack of smokes and never being seen again. A wife disappearing into the night with a toddler or two in tow.
A young bride running away from an abusive husband, moving to the West Coast and showing up on her parent’s doorstep a year later with a newborn Yours Truly in her arms. Which is more or less how and when I entered the family history. My arrival was nothing more than an odd blip on a radar screen filled with blips.
Finding out about my Greek, seafaring father changed little in my life. Nothing, in fact. But it did explain some things: my ability to spend shirtless hours in the summer sun without burning (my siblings, Irish and English by birth, fry like bacon on a hot skillet); my passing but intense teenage interest in Western philosophy, primarily the Greeks; my almost debilitating love of life on the water. Especially that last one.
Since the time I could walk, I’ve been drawn to the water. If I’m near it, I want to be in it. I’ve never taken a short trip to the beach; once I arrive lakeside, I can’t pull myself away. I’ve seen a lot of sunsets over Lake Michigan and more than a few sunrises over Lake Huron.
As a kid, at my grandmother’s summer cottage, I would stay in the water until my fingers resembled overripe prunes. It mattered not at all if the lake was cold, the day overcast or even rainy. My truculence when it came to remaining in the lake was such that my mother (a former lifeguard) sometimes had to dive in and drag me out, kicking and screaming.
 Her former lifeguard training came in handy on many other occasions when I was still a toddler. If I spied water, I beelined directly for it, always. The fact I could not swim and had very nearly drowned on several previous attempts didn’t wise me up at all.
Though I eventually became an excellent swimmer, my tendency to nearly drown myself was not diminished in the least. I can’t begin to guess how many times I’ve fallen out of boats, large and small. A dozen? Maybe more.
One night I was camping along the shores of Lake Michigan (there was once a stretch of shoreline that hadn’t been developed by condo builders, believe it or not). I decided to go for a midnight swim. A cloudless night, the Milky Way wheeling overhead like a ring of impossibly bright jewels.
I swam alone; I was all of 17 and knew nothing could kill me. Each stroke pulled me farther into the gently undulating blackness. I don’t know how long I swam; a long time. Long enough for my arms to grow tired.
When I finally relented and turned toward shore, I realized I could no longer tell in which direction it lay. The wind and waves had picked up. I didn’t panic. Not quite. But I’ll admit I struck a lot of bargains with The Almighty before finally spotting a dim glimmer on the horizon – the parking lot of a state park.
Obviously, I lived, but it was a near thing. And still, my memory of that night is a good one, just another little adventure in a life filled with little adventures.
Do I feel that way because my father – who never knew of my existence, by the way – grew up on the isle of Crete, surrounded by the blue waters of the Aegean Sea? Or is my love of all things aquatic simply blind chance? I’ll never know. But the pull is … strong.
And if it seems, dear reader, that this column has no point, that’s only because you don’t know my birthday’s coming up and I’d like The Lovely Mrs. Taylor to reconsider that bass boat idea I brought up at dinner last night.

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