I spend a lot of time at the library down the street. It’s a nice facility, completed this past spring.
They let me work there all day, no questions asked. I used to work from home, back when I had a dog, cat and occasional person to look after. These days I’m on my own, and the house seems big and empty.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself here, really. I’ve gotten used to having the place to myself; it’s not so bad. But it does get a bit boring having nobody to talk with but the finch. Finches are notoriously dull conversationalists.
So I hang at the library.
Being there so much, I’ve started to develop a skill generally seen only in librarians: I can tell what sort of book a person is going to pick out just by looking at them. It’s true!
There are a few “types” anyone could figure out. The fat guy wearing a Batman T-shirt, Bermuda shorts and flip-flops; you just know he’ll head straight for the science fiction section. Likewise, the mousy, middle-aged woman dressed like a Mennonite will covertly browse the Harlequin romances for a while before picking out something featuring a bare-chested Fabio type on the jacket.
Like I said, those types are easy. Not all are. Teenage girls, for example, fall into several sub-types. There are the athletic girls, who check out biographies of other athletic girls. Teen hotties beeline for the magazine room, where they peruse recent issues of “Cosmo” or “Sassy,” depending on age. And Goth teens (there are still some of ‘em out there!) skulk up and down the stacks looking for anything from Anne Rice or whichever author has penned the latest popular vampire tome.
Teenage boys fall into similar sub-types.
Little old ladies are fond of mysteries, especially serials featuring a female protagonist. They regularly ask the librarian to suggest a book and are therefore favored by the women who work behind the counter. Librarians are just like the rest of us – they’re dying to share their opinions with someone willing to listen.
Little old men go in for historical epics. Wars, from Civil to Desert Storm, are popular fare with guys 65 and up. Biographies of Winston Churchill and Roosevelt are always on the library’s waiting list.
Guys wearing ties get books on either business or religion. Men in Carharts frequent the “how to” aisle. Ladies with reading glasses hanging around their necks on little gold chains go in for true-life stories about women who have overcome a) drug addiction, b) alcoholism, c) abusive parents, d) depression, or e) missed episodes of “Oprah.”
Young kids are the only “type” impossible to predict. They’re happy with pretty much anything. Every book is a wonder to them and they’re years away from falling into anything resembling a reading rut.
It’s hard not to envy them as they tear through the shelves, poring over novels, poetry, biographies, comics. Children are the only truly omnivorous readers.
But maybe it’s not too late for the rest of us to step outside our habits and read something we usually would not. I’ll start the ball rolling.
Let’s see, what’s Oprah recommending this week?
Missed a week? More “Reality Check” online at http://mtrealitycheck.blogspot.com or www.milive.com. E-mail Mike Taylor at
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