Chocolate and beer, the twin keys to longevity?

This is a great time to be alive. For me, at least.

Why? Because science, at last, is on my side. This has not always been the case. For most of my life, science kept trying to take away the things I love. 

All life’s little amenities, the things that make it worth living, were, according to science, bad for me. A few of these, like cigarettes and heroin, still are. But since I’ve never smoked or used heroin, I’m not bothered by their inclusion on the Food and Drug Administration’s “naughty” list.

I’m talking about things that used to be bad for me that no longer are. Like coffee. Believe it or not, I was a Mormon once, a long time ago. I don’t know what the current church thinking is, but at that time, Mormons didn’t drink coffee. They weren’t supposed to, anyway. A lot of them still did.

But I didn’t. Because not only did the church elders say it was evil, science kept telling me it was unhealthy. 

Now, I stopped caring what church elders say a long time ago, but I still pay attention to scientific studies. Which is why I was so gratified to learn coffee is good for me after all. 

I don’t drink more or less of it than I ever did — two cups every morning — but it’s nice to know I’m doing my body good rather than harm.

Beer. (You just knew beer was going to find its way into this somewhere, right?) Turns out a little of it is good for you. Same story with wine. To be on the safe side, I drink both, though admittedly in quantities that might be construed by some as “more than a little.” Best to err on the side of caution, I figure.

Avocados. Until a few years ago, I’d never eaten an avocado. I shy away from fruits or vegetables that look more exotic than a potato, say. But an ex-girlfriend introduced them to me and it turns out they’re great! At first, science said don’t eat them because they have more calories per pound than bacon, a statistic I just made up.

But then science reversed itself and said they’re not only OK, they’re good for me.

The latest addition to the “nice” list is chocolate. Turns out eating 100 grams per day of chocolate can lower blood pressure, reduce your chance of suffering a stroke and even make you slimmer.

I don’t know what “100 grams” equates to in the real world, but I’m going to assume its the equivalent of about 2 1/2 Snicker’s Bars.

I figure if I go on a strict diet of coffee, beer, wine, avocados and Snicker’s Bars, I’ll live well into my mid-100s. 

mtaylor@staffordgroup.com

(616) 548-8273