Even now, hope springs eternal

I’m getting m—

I’m getting mmmmaaa—

Let’s try this again: I’m getting m-m-married.

There! I said it!

Those who know me well are by now undoubtedly speed-dialing a psychiatric interventions service.

I have been married once before. OK, twice. Three times. Four.

In between, there were innumerable relationships that also ended, sometimes amicably, sometimes to the refrain of automatic weapons fire.

Point is, after all these years, I’m beginning to suspect it’s me.

Actually, I know it’s me. I am charming and fun, which is why I always wind up in a relationship. I am also a narcissistic jerk, which is why I always wind up back out of a relationship again.

I would invite you to ask my ex-wives and girlfriends if this is true, but that would entail renting a hall large enough to hold them all and I just can’t afford that. So you’ll have to take my word for it.

Some might wonder (quite understandably) why someone with my track record would consider tying the knot yet again. Truth to tell, I’m kind of wondering that myself.

I guess it’s because I’m crazy in love with Lori and hope, apparently, springs eternal. 

She is intelligent, cute, strong, talented, kind, patient (most of the time), caring, passionate, honest … I dunno; there are plenty of reasons for loving her, many of which I could list here, and still more I could not because this is a family publication.

She makes me laugh. 

We’ve known each other for a few years and have been officially “together” for over 12 months. We fight once in a while. Her temper is as quick as mine and she possesses an equally impressive repertoire of profanity. But we’re quick to kiss and make up. Neither of us can hold a grudge longer than an hour or two.

If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that love, and by association, marriage, is a complicated dance of giving and taking, of knowing when to speak and when to keep silent. It’s a crazy carnival ride; a messy, complicated, exasperating, stress-inducing battle of wills that can bring even the strongest man whimpering to his knees.

It’s also the only thing that makes life worth living.

I was perfectly happy as a single man in the year or so before Lori and I got together. But not as happy as I am now. 

The children’s author Dr. Seuss is credited with saying, “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 

I haven’t slept well in months.

mtaylor@staffordgroup.com

(616) 548-8273