I’m not opposed to political correctness. It may sometimes seem that way to regular readers of this column, but the truth is I’m a PC fan. At least in cases where political correctness doesn’t veer off into ridiculousness.
I’m old enough to remember when jokes about folks of a Polish persuasion (complete with frequent references to the “P” word) were considered hilarious. These days those jokes just make folks uncomfortable. As they should. If they don’t, you need to wake up and smell the 21st Century, pal.
The times they have a’changed. Mostly for the better, in my opinion.
But every so often, somebody will drive the PC Love Train right off the rails and down the mountainside. Not surprisingly, mis-navigation of this sort often takes place at universities, where the “L” word (Liberal) has yet to be Rush Limbaughed out of existence.
Such is the case in New York, where rampant inclusiveness has me wanting to erect a sign outside the dean’s office reading, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
The situation involves animals. No, not the frat brothers. Real animals.
It began rationally enough, as these things often do, with New York colleges declaring it “OK” for students who require service animals to bring them to class. Why should a sightless person be denied a college education, right?
Guide dogs are highly trained, know their business and can easily maintain an unobtrusive presence in the classroom. It’s a no brainer.
And speaking of no brains, here we go: students started stretching that “service animal” definition. Kids who suffered from depression if they didn’t get to pet their kitty on a regular basis were allowed to bring their cats on campus.
As were students who experienced panic attacks if denied hourly face-licks from a golden retriever.
And let’s not forget the students who need ongoing guinea pig snuggles to avoid feeling “stressed” by final exams.
Am I kidding? No, I am not.
Other student “service” animal requests have included tarantulas, potbellied pigs, ferrets and flying Australian marsupials.
The few requests that were denied resulted in (surprise, surprise!) lawsuits against some universities.
The dust hasn’t even begun to settle on this issue; that’ll take years. And just about the time it does, some kid with an allergy will file a formal complaint over the dander being spread by his dorm-mate’s chimpanzee.
At this point administrators will ban all animals on campus. After all, it’s the PC thing to do.
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